The Snacks of Pottenjolly
On “Enlightenment.” What we want is a pleasant and captivating dream, with a curious cast of characters
It’s the day after the biking accident. I summon my mother for a visit. She brings brie cheese with rice crackers, cooked sausages, grain-free maple granola, fruits, and a dozen eggs. We sit at the table with our snacks. Her Husky mix, Kia, is under the table at my legs. I massage Kia’s face while my mother talks.
“I’m taking a course,” she tells me.
She pulls out a book filled with sticky notes. It’s called “The Yoga Sutras of,” I think she said, “Pottenjolly.” She starts reading excerpts of Pottenjolly out loud. I say nothing. I listen but don’t hear much. Then the magic word: “enlightenment”.
"I’m reading Jed McKenna," I say.
She looks disinterested — McKenna is not an Indian name.
"He says the path to enlightenment is a very painful process."
"Really? That doesn’t make sense."
"He says no one would do it unless they’re already in tremendous pain and there’s no other option."
She’s baffled.
"Enlightenment is about truth," I say.
"Yes."
"It’s not about knowing, it’s about unknowing the false. Deconstructing—"
"Removing the layers,” she adds.
"Destroying yourself."
She squints.
"The path of truth realization is not a yellow brick road. Jed used a writing process he called Spiritual Autolysis — trying to write what’s true until you're done. It’s self-devouring. He helps people who are already on that path but he cannot bring people to it.” I take it a step further. “The risk with the yellow brick road to ego enlightenment is that instead of blowing up ego, it inflates it.”
“That tends to happen,” she agrees.
Pottenjolly is not serving up enlightenment and that’s okay. The readers don’t want it anyway. Ego doesn’t want egolessness. There’s no-thing to want. For ego, waking up is the worst possible outcome. Enlightenment is a last resort. What we want is a pleasant and captivating dream, with a curious cast of characters.
"They use the word ‘enlightenment’ because that’s what sells, but what almost all spiritual seekers actually want is adulthood — being awake in the dream state. Lucid dreaming. You get to control the characters, the environment, and the drama. Enlightenment is none of that. Nobody wants to wake up from the dream because that’s pointless, there’s no pointedness.”
She’s pensive. She wants to say something but doesn’t know what. We have a moment of silence.
She closes Pottenjolly and puts it back in the bag. We return to snacking.
Fear is the center. Fear is the sun that ego fragments revolve around. Fear is ego’s primary tool for maintaining existence. Fear in one hand, intellect and narrative in the other.
She asks about the book I'm writing.
"I work mostly alone and don’t get paid. It’s pretty much worst case scenario."
"What’s the book about?"
"It’s multi-genre, first-person stories. It maximizes insight through entertainment. It’s kind of my diary.” I sigh. “It’s not for everybody. It’s a crazy person book."
She looks at me blankly then settles on, "Do you have an editor?"
"Uh, yes, but I just emailed him that I don’t need him anymore."
"Could I edit a chapter for you? For free?"
She already knows the answer.
"No. I will edit the book. I just downloaded a software thing."
We decide that it's time to take Kia for a walk. Are we walking the dog or is the dog walking us. It's late fall in New Hampshire. I couldn’t get socks or pants on because of the hip thing, so I hobble around outside in shorts and Birkenstocks. I’m still not not doing and I’m not enjoying it.
Afterword
This is a chapter in my upcoming book, All Outcomes Are Acceptable. Substack paid subscribers will receive as many free copies as they like. The minimum to to be a paid subscriber $5/month. The support of paid subscribers funds the creation of authentic and useful media that maximizes insight through entertainment.
I’ve talked with dozens of people around the world via curiosity conversations. It’s been amazing. Schedule a call here.
Thank you and have a pleasant rest of your day.