Roommate Decadence World

Hair transplants. Dead semen. Gameboy boy in a war.

Roommate: “I want to start saving money so I can get a hair transplant.”

In our shower I have a bar of soap. He has 5 bottles of chemicals. He wonders why he’s balding. He doubles down and applies more chemicals. 

Me: “I hear ya”

“What do you mean you have a full head of hair!”

“I hear ya, you want to look good for 30. Men peak at 30.  The dating market sucks right now but that’s ok because I’m only gaining status.

Women peak early 20’s. If you’re a 28 y/o women without a partner your clock is tickin. If you’re a 30’s woman with no kids and want kids your close to screwed.”

“Well… kids the natural way….”

“Oh ya lab babies are a thing now”

“My sister and her husband are 30 and they are trying to have a kid. She’s fertile but he’s not. They grew her eggs in a petri dish and added some of his semen but it failed. 

He has live semen…  but they’re not strong enough to like… survive the chaos.”

oh my gosh 

“Is he fit?”

“Um I do…