Psychic Reading

GMO trees grow ads on their leaves

I consulted a psychic. In 2004 she predicted an orange man would be elected president. 

I asked her: what is the future for the plebeians?

She said: 

Migrants receive a stipend to come to America 

They subscribe to ad-free toilets 

Heterosexuals have their own bathroom

16 year old’s vape psilocybin 

Trans babies 

Nonbinary dogs

Gender non-conformists make lab babies 

Detroit is unchanged but above average

Fit people register as toxic and apologize

The last nontoxic food is eaten by the Amish

The Amazon truck is permanently parked at the end of your driveway 

There’s a conveyor belt from the truck to your house

Driveways are racist for blackface

Driveways are painted white

There’s an app that identifies which drones are near you 

Drones shoot lasers at street poops 

The state creates a tax to build statues of fat people on scooters 

It’s called the Fairness Tax 

Skinny people pay triple in taxes

Health insurance is $5,000/week 

There’s one doctor in every state 

The ocean is coffee 

Only Mormons can make babies the ole fashioned way 

Porn is curriculum 

WalMart is your landlord 

Videos are two seconds long

GMO trees grow ads on their leaves