Drowning in the Jacuzzi

On doing many things and not going insane

Jul 01, 2025

I’ve never been good at short form writing. I’m good at cranking out long, unedited drafts (most of which don’t get shared) on various topics, the same way I’m good at taking on big desires, projects, and plans.

Unlike some people, I actually do stuff.

I’m doing IRL shit.

Making music

Building trails

Building a startup

Playing sports

Working on my health

Watching Christopher Nolan movies

Traveling, exploring

Mountain biking

Dating

My life is like desire triage right now.

All these things feel more important to me than editing, polishing, and publishing stories on Substack. I’m actually writing as much as ever, and will share when I feel called to share, like today. After 6 weeks off substack, I opened her up and got it done.

In the past two months, I’ve slept in twelve different places. In the next month, I’ll sleep in another five or more.

I woke up this morning in a former Catholic church that my friend rents. I checked my messages. Anu is interested in doing a Substack live stream to talk about Christianity with me.

My roommates left for work. I put a rake and chainsaw in my car and drove to a mountain where I’m building a new mountain biking trail from top to bottom. I did an hour and a half of scouting and marking. It got hot and I drove to a nearby mountain lake where I conveniently found my snorkel mask in the back of the car and used it to easily swim to a small island. I sat on the bank and thought about all the emails I need to send. Follow-ups to people I’m building a healthcare system with.

Google calendar dinged me, telling me it’s time to depart.

Now I’m at Walmart, drinking a remedy organic berry immunity smoothie in the parking lot while they put new tires on my car. I’ll try to get my emails done and drive back to my house before my calls at one o’clock and two o’clock. Then cook lunch and see if I can move the ball forward on some AI projects, then my friend is coming over to record music.

Tomorrow night is date night, Saturday is a hike to a lake in the White Mountains, Sunday I’m co-hosting a brunch with 16 people coming, and after that I’ll go to a watch party for the NBA finals.

My smoothie has a Lion’s Mane mushroom in it. At least that’s what it says. I’m on a mushroom kick right now. I started growing them when I lived in Oregon five years ago. I’m planning a trip back to Oregon, where psilocybin mushrooms are now legal for medicinal consumption, no prescription necessary. There’s a lot to learn, a lot of evolution to be found, with mushrooms. I’ll be in Oregon next month, researching and experimenting.

I have a missed call from a doctor’s office requesting I fill out more forms. I have unread messages from a Canadian girl I was hanging out with in Portugal last month. We’re planning a retreat in New Hampshire. Walmart texts me my car is ready.

My life feels crazier than it is. It’s a weird time to be alive. It simultaneously feels like I’m doing too much and not doing enough.

I’m happy with my life. I recognize it can feel like I’m drowning in an ocean storm, but really I’m in a jacuzzi and the jets are on a smidge too high.

It would be dumb if I drowned in this jacuzzi. But whatever, all outcomes are acceptable.

Thanks for reading, and have a great rest of your day. If you like this, read the sample of my book, All Outcomes Are Acceptable, of that combines memoir, sci-fi, and poetry. To my surprise, it’s only received five-star reviews.