Five Tricks for Instant Happiness

Best five tricks. 99% of gurus do these.

I wrote this piece as I finished up college in 2019. I couldn’t see myself giving advice, so I did the opposite. I’m glad I found it in my drafts.

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I am a thought-leader and happiness guru. These are the five tricks for instant happiness.

Switch Your Shoes

The first thing to achieve happiness is simple. Wear the right shoe on the left foot and the left shoe on the right foot. Studies show uncomfortable feet increases brain activity. We know this intuitively. Sometimes it’s so uncomfortable that you take your shoes off, then you’re grounded.

Drink Natural Fluids

Our ancestors depended on urine to survive for thousands of years, why shouldn’t we? Inadvertently, your body is excreting essential B-Series Amino Proteins which you need to be healthy. Many ancient populations knew this so they regularly re-drank urine. You can easily work this into your daily routine. The science is real.

Admit You Suck

Every morning at 5am wake up naturally and DON’T HIT THAT SNOOZE BUTTON. Go to the bathroom, to the largest mirror you own. Turn on bright fluorescent lights to see your flaws. Now put your hands under scalding hot water and repeat the ancient Pseudomarian Mantra:

I AM GARBAGE.

Build a Fire

Bootstrap minimalism. Become a radical millennial minimalist with this FAST, EASY, one-step process.

Set your house on fire.

After you destroy everything you own, you are an elite minimalist. When I burned my house down, I was born again. Now I am a monk, motivational speaker and thought-leader. You can quickly and easily achieve a rare level of higher-consciousness. All it takes is one match!

Read 12 Books Per Day

Books are gurus. By maximizing your number of gurus you maximize the the probability that you become a guru. I read 12 books per day using my formula:

24 hours / 12 books = 2 HOURS PER BOOK

Any person can read any book in 2 hours, with my secret speed reading tricks.

There are 37 tricks for reading faster. You can learn them in my e-book: 37 Tricks to Read Faster, Much Faster than Elon Musk.

I will give you trick #22 completely free:

Don’t read the whole book

Learn the other 36 tried-and-true tricks from my newest e-book. CLICK HERE.

Smash the share button and follow me everywhere. Did I mention I am a self-published author? BUY MY E-BOOK HERE TODAY. NOW!

If the these five things made you smile then it worked. Instant happiness.

Remember to breathe. You are universe, and the universe is you.

Have a great day.

Thanks for reading

I write stories for insight through entertainment. I deliver high-quality stories to your inbox every month. Paid subscribers help me create great content. Supporting artists helps create works of art. With your support, I will become one of the greatest writers in the world.

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